I Don’t Know..

Happenings of 25th September 2008.

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1AM.

I was sleeping for a good hour and a half. But then somehow I woke up. No noise to be a reason. Nothing to blame. And now I couldn’t get a shut eye again.. I feel something is off. But who knows.. I feel like going out for a drive somewhere.. Around town maybe. But should I?? It’s past midnight. I’m meeting her tomorrow morning but I’m not sure if the car will be available though. I hate it when I feel like this. Like something’s happening but I can’t do anything about it. Should I go and satisfy my feelings? Or should I stay and continue this what if’s games.. I really need to smoke.. Math’s work is going okay.. Good thing Amit helped. I’m gonna go.

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2.43AM

Been cruising around for a good half an hour before I get back. And my instincts were right yet again. I drove by her sister’s place and guess what I saw? The ex-’s car parked right there. I’m beyond pissed right now. I don’t know who to be mad at. Her. That girl. Me.

My one fear amongst everything is being betrayed by someone I trust. That happened before. I’m really paranoid that it’ll happen again. My sister warned me this will happen. She said “Don’t fall in too deep.” But it’s too late. I fell and I stay fallen. Now I’m just praying real hard it won’t happen. Three’s a crowd. How can I prove to her how I feel when there’s someone else in the picture? *sigh*

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Amended. Forgiven. Trying not to think about it. Doesn’t mean I’m avoiding reality, I just don’t want to face it. Yeah, I’m being me. We’ll see how things are by next month. In the mean time, I’ll keep on blogging. Won’t stop. xp

~ by pin3apple on December 9, 2008.