Remember Me..

I sat here for minutes on end, staring at my screen trying to scour something to write.. It’s been a long time since I’ve done this and I missed it. I missed out on a lot..

Today, or rather tonight, while preparing for a day of war at the simulator, my mind decided to revisit my glorify past.. School, friends, homework, teachers, recess, sleep, love, driving, netball.. All that stuff that I love to hate and learn to love.

Time has changed. I’ve disappeared into a world that I chose. Under a title that I’ve been dreaming of before I knew what puberty was and to say I am proud of it is a disputed statement.

True, my disappearance was because of my training. I have left almost all of my social networking sites to in an attempt to focus on my sole goal. ‘To graduate with a potential performance’ and set peoples’ hindsight on me. I did that and dare I say I succeeded. But now I can’t get them off of my back. “Careful what you wish for” rings a bell~ *sigh*

I dived and delved into this world that I yearned for immediately after graduation.. I wanted recognition and I was recognised. Pulled and yanked from all different directions at a time.. And I swear at times I want to give up and quit. Almost. Almost.

My social life was stumped. Not by work directly. But by me. In an effort to please everyone and make sure my paper is purely clean, I immersed myself in work, sitting with my laptop open on hours, discussing on ends, going from one place to another to make sure everything is right and ready for the event. I felt great. Though it made some crossfires, I feel good when my work is acknowledged and appreciated.

Friends? What friends? I’m ashamed to call myself with that word. I haven’t been seeing them, talking to them, even texting them to see how they are.. I don’t even know if they’re in the country or abroad even. My Princess.. Oh how I missed her dearly.. Many a times I wanted to go see her, console her, just simply be with her like before. But I realised a little too late that I was cutting all ties to the people who cared.. Work didn’t help either.. I’d make plans and dates but it always gets cancelled at the last hour and I’m stuck with work. On the other hand, every spare hour I have, I try to spend it with my significant other. No.. It’s not person you think it is..

I’m with someone new. Someone whom I CHOSE for a change. And she’s totally different from the other one. You see, I have a thing for cute-ness. And hers, I just lost to, over and over again. My blood got the better of me and before I knew it, she tasted good.. And I knew from then on, I couldn’t turn back even if I wanted to. She get my adrenaline on the run even at the touch of a finger, a smile on her face, a sniff of her perfume.. We’ve marked a year now and I know she’s the one and I miss her everyday I’m away from her..

And being in a totally different country with a different climate and environment makes that needy-ness a little less. I got what I worked hard for during that short months I worked my arse off. I am now in the UK, undergoing the first step in my line of work. And I am thankful, grateful and bloody relieved that I am here, if only for a short period of time.. And I can only dread what those awful pricks have in store for me once I’m done here..